If you think better, you’ll feel better. If you feel better, you’ll do better.
Here are five free tips to building a better version of yourself that can aid you in eliminating barriers that may be holding you back from achieving even greater business and personal success. These are just a few of the nearly 60 tips found in the first course (of five) of our online, video-based, self-paced, easy-to-follow Success Empowerment Program.
1. Value who you are
You need to value who you are in order to be able to provide real value to others. If you suffer from a feeling of insignificance you need to understand you bring a unique value to those around you and to the world. You are the only you there is. You are unique, and you have passions, talents, and abilities those other people don’t have. As Malcolm Forbes, the entrepreneur most prominently known as the publisher of Forbes magazine said: “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”
Be sure to smile when you look in the mirror! That simple, free gift—from yourself to yourself—can work wonders on your self-image. Understand that what others think of you does not define you. You have an innate value that comes from within. You are here for a purpose, and other’s opinions are not a measure of how valuable you are. As Les Brown said: “Someone else’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.”
Winners don’t have a positive self-image, high self-esteem, and a sense of significant self-worth BECAUSE they’re successful. Winners are successful because they know they have innate value (a sense of self-worth), they are happy with who they are (high self-esteem) and they have confidence in their ability to learn, grow, and continue to succeed—and thus they value who they are.
2. Stop comparing yourself with others
There will always be someone more successful, more accomplished, with more awards, more friends, and more money. If you constantly compare yourself with others you’ll never measure up. If you know your purpose and you’re pursuing your passion (which is covered in one of the lessons in the 1st course of the Success Empowerment Program) you will realize you don’t need to waste time comparing yourself to other people. As the actress, Judy Garland said: “Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”
Also, be sure to practice some self-compassion and stop criticizing yourself. You’re only human, and no one is perfect. It’s our nature to make mistakes and learn from them. So, forgive yourself for your mistakes and move on to a brighter future.
3. Don’t fear discomfort — embrace it
Realize it’s okay to feel uncomfortable. It’s actually a GOOD thing because it means you’re willing to get outside of your comfort zone and put yourself in growth-producing situations where the things you don’t yet have can be found. When you stretch outside of
your comfort zone you will, of course, feel “uncomfortable,” yet that’s simply a sign you are learning and growing. When you feel uncomfortable just say to yourself, “Hey, this is great. I’m learning, I’m growing, I’m becoming a better person, and I’m going to have far more personal success as a result.”
As Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck said: “Why waste time proving over and over how great you are when you could be getting better? Why hide deficiencies instead of overcoming them? Why look for friends or partners who will just shore up your self-esteem instead of ones who will also challenge you to grow? And why seek out the tried and true, instead of experiences that will stretch you? The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even when [or especially when] it’s not going well, is the hallmark of a GROWTH mindset.”
As I like to say, “Taking calculated risks can make all the difference between an ordinary life and an extraordinary life.”
4. Eliminate self-limiting beliefs, such as I can’t or I’m not
As Les Brown said: “Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.” If you accept a limiting belief it becomes a truth for you. To eliminate self-limiting beliefs (a) Write them down, because you can’t fix a problem you don’t know you have. (b) Acknowledge they are just beliefs, not truths. Say to yourself something like, “I have believed this about myself for some time, yet I now realize it was simply a belief and not true.” (c) Exchange them for the opposite beliefs the moment they crop up. The best way to do that is through the use of positive affirmations (which is covered in detail in the Success Empowerment Program). As motivational speaker Denis Waitley said: “Relentless, repetitive self-talk. . . is what changes our self-image.”
Here are a few sample affirmations to combat self-limiting beliefs:
- I like and accept myself right now, even as I grow and evolve.
- I am worthy simply for who I am, not what I do. I do not have to earn my worthiness.
- I easily release negative feelings when other people blame or criticize me.
- I learn and grow from my mistakes rather than deny them or use them to confirm my unworthiness.
- I am kind to myself and I do not use “shoulds” and “oughts” to put myself down with value judgments.
5. Soar with your strengths
Paula Nelson and Donald Clifton, in their insightful book titled Soar with Your Strengths, noted that: “Excellence can be achieved only by focusing on strengths and managing weaknesses.”
What they’re speaking of is the value of learning how great you really are by focusing on and leveraging your unique strengths. Focusing on and leveraging your strengths can actually double or triple your effectiveness as opposed to beating yourself up about your weaknesses. I don’t mean you should not stretch yourself and test your limits, or that you should not expand your skills.
All I’m saying is if, for example, if you’ve never been good at math, or you always struggle with writing, then it’s okay to find and hire talented people who are gifted in these areas instead of beating yourself up about things that just don’t come naturally to you.
These are just a few of the nearly 60 tips found in JUST the first course of our complete, no-nonsense, self-paced, video-based, online program.
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